Dedicated Poems, Songs and Writings

6 years

posted Nov 11, 2009, 9:16 AM by Karen Paul

Why can’t I hear

Your voice anymore?

Echoes in my mind…

Like waves on the shore


How is it possible

Six years have gone by?

How have we lived

How have we survived?


One day at a time

Is all I can think

No choice given

No time to blink


We move on forward

But it will never be fair

Your life cut so short

We’re so much aware


Living life without you

Will never be right

Our laughter and smiles

Never quite as bright


A part of us went with you

That cold November day

And part of you stayed

Deep in our hearts tucked away


I think of you

Every single day

Your smile, your laughter

Your charming way


You are missed so much

All the days of the year

But fall is especially tough

For us left down here


The depth of our loss

Can never be measured

But your brief life

Will always be treasured


I can see you smile

About my rhymes

Yours so much better

I miss them all the time


My nephew

The wanna be rappa

Mr gangsta in suburbia

Mr cool, mista dappa


We long to feel you

Nearby us you see

Especially on this

6yr anniversary


luv you Chris – Karen, November 12, 2009



posted Oct 6, 2009, 10:15 AM by Karen Paul

Autumn is Here!


Autumn  is here; you can smell it in the air.

The leaves are just beginning to turn.

Days are shorter and weather’s colder.

For beloved Chris, we continue to yearn!


This had been a year of major events.

On the national scene we have a new president.

Grandma Jan and Gramps celebrated 50 wedded  years;

Wondering just where all those years went!


Donnie turned 90 and a party was held.

Chris’ dad Brian and Ruth are now married.

Kyle and his family left Boston town;

To Charleston, SC their possessions they carried.


Next week Chris’ step-sister will marry Mike

For those in our family it will be bittersweet

Because we know we will never see

Our Chris with a bride, oh so sweet!


Autumn is here; we must be reconciled.

Many things change, just like the seasons.

We wonder sometimes about life’s events;

For Chris’ death, there still seems no reason!


Grandma Jan, September, 2009






Witness History

posted Jan 21, 2009, 6:06 AM by Karen Paul

Today was an historic occasion; 

We welcomed a new president. 

There were millions to watch, 

Not one of them a dissident! 

Washington was overflowing 

With the throngs all there to see 

Barack Obama become President 

The inauguration, the place to be! 

An African-American in that post; 

He’s the first one of that color; 

We hope his administration 

Is successful; like no other! 

Our country is at a low point; 

There is much that needs a fix! 

Our perception from abroad, 

Add our economy to the mix! 

As I watched this event 

On the TV all day 

I wanted you here 

To learn what Obama did say. 

It was so historic, 

And that’s what you loved, 

So I hope you were watching 

From heaven high above. 

I cried as the day did unfold, 

Watching brought tears to my eyes. 

But also sad ’cause you weren’t here 

Why, oh why did you have to die? 

You’d have relished this day indeed; 

So many people now have hope 

That Obama will be able to mend 

A nation that’s currently broke! 

My most fervent wish is that 

You could have been here to see 

The inauguration of Obama 

Make real history! 

Grandma Jan, January 20, 2009 


5 Years:

posted Jan 4, 2009, 5:36 PM by Arthur Fudge

What does it feel like?
5 years without you.

Silence has taken up residence
Where your laughter used to be

And though I try to see you
Grown and mature at almost 22
Yet you remain ever 16 (almost 17)
In my mind’s eye

This is the loss,
Both greater and deeper
Than any words
Can convey

5 years.

Photos remain unchanged
Upon our mantle
Year upon year

And the silence continues.

Your blue eyes and quick smile
Remain in my mind
Ready at a moment’s notice
But the voice I used to hear has faded

Oh how I miss it.

We gather on special days
To talk to you and remember you
All your family, but we separate.

And the silence continues.

We take comfort in signs
That come our way
Your breaking of the silence
On some special days

Butterflies and Dragonflies
And warm feelings of love
Come unexpectedly
From high above

At this 5 year mark
As we struggle through
Signs are so needed
From sweet, special you

You held all our hopes
And dreams
You were our future
And still are, it seems

So we think of you today
And feel you near
Living on deep in our hearts
You are always here

Thinking of you, Chris, on your 5th angel date November 12, 2008
Luv, aunt Karen 


posted Jan 4, 2009, 5:34 PM by Arthur Fudge

The Beauty of the Monarch Butterfly 

While sitting in the hot tub one humid, summer night We watched many winged creatures overhead in flight. One was so large, we thought it was a bat, But it landed on a window screen and we knew it wasn’t that! A huge moth, thought we, but we were proven wrong; It’s wings keep opening and shutting; it stayed so very long. It’s radiant colors showed us it was a monarch butterfly! For ages it never left the spot and just remained nearby. How often do you see a monarch in the dark of night; Especially one that flicks its wings and doesn’t soon take flight? We think it bore the soul of our Christopher so dear And hung around to let us know that he is still quite near. But this not the only time a monarch behaved this way; One followed Amy all about at work, outdoors, one day! As she walked the steps to go inside the butterfly hesitated, Then it perched itself upon her and happiness resonated! She recognized the symbolism and felt her Lovey near; She spoke softly to the monarch while shedding a slight tear. ‘Twas a tear of sadness and longing, but also of delight, For then, and only then, did the butterfly take flight! The monarch’s mission was accomplished as we recognized That what we see before us is not seen only by our eyes!! We’re certain that Chris’ spirit was in a monarch butterfly; We must observe to discover other times he is nearby! 

Written by Grandma Jan, August 3, 2008


posted Jan 4, 2009, 5:34 PM by Arthur Fudge


Why am I so sad today?
Time may hold the key
Not sure what has triggered it
So deep inside of me

Been doing ok in general
Though I miss you all the time
Thinking of the life you lived
And all the love you left behind

I guess it is just reality
Striking once again
Grasping just a little more
It is grief, my old friend

There’s a quietness inside of me
An emptiness, you see
Once filled with light and laughter
So lively and carefree

Now a contemplative silence
Deep inside my heart
Not knowing what to do
While we’re so far apart

At times your laughter comes to me
From a memory long ago
How is it so much time has passed
I simply do not know

But if I listen hard enough
It comes to me again
Oh how I miss that sound
Your laughter on the wind

And maybe if I’m lucky
I’ll see in my minds’ eye
Your beautiful smile once again
Lighting up the sky

I love you and miss you every day, Chris!

Aunt Karen
March 13, 2008 

Happy 21st Birthday:

posted Jan 4, 2009, 5:33 PM by Arthur Fudge

Happy Birthday my dearest Christopher
Sweet child of my heart
21 years ago today you were born
And I loved you from the start.

I held you in my arms
And I looked at your precious face
You were so very small and peaceful
A mother and child’s first embrace.

I never knew that I could love someone
As much as I love you
The gift of being your mother
Is what I was meant to do.

That gift I’ll always cherish
It’s embedded within my soul
Today is December 1st
And you would be 21 years old.

21 years is such a milestone
So many dreams I had for you
You were loving, caring and kind
Those simple dreams all came true.

But the other dreams are gone
They were snuffed out on that November eve
Your life was taken away
Something I still can’t believe.

Please understand why I’m sad
You should be here to celebrate your day
Instead I’m reading this poem
And standing at your grave.

You see my heart is hurt today
It’s bruised, it pained, it’s sore
I want to see your smiling face
Like so many birthdays before.

Everyone misses you terribly
But no other quite like me
All I can do for you today
Is simply decorate your star tree.

It will shine brightly throughout the night
You’ll see it from above
I’ve decorated for you and only you
With my heart pouring over with love.

December 1st will always be
A day especially just for you
21 years ago today
All of my dreams came true.

Happy Birthday my dearest son
Sweet child of my heart
Although we’re not together
We will never be apart.


Dec. 1, 2007 

Happy 21st Birthday:

posted Jan 4, 2009, 5:32 PM by Arthur Fudge

Twenty-one Years

Twenty-one years ago today
Your dad rung me on the phone to say
Karen, you’re an aunt!
I was overjoyed and blown away!

In Buffalo, that mighty town
You were born on December 1
A light shone on our family
Never, ever to be undone

You were such a cute young kid
With clear blue eyes and blonde, blonde hair
Just like your mom so many said
With your outgoing ways and special flare

A cute nose just like your dad
And “Bascom humor” you possessed
Always followed by that silly giggle
Infectious to all, so filled with zest

Your love of sports and games
Is legendary here
Though being a Red Sox fan
Always seemed to bring a tear

Through it all you lived your life
To it’s fullest every day
With cherished friends and family
You blessed along the way

You always were so cheerful
Your smile lit up our world
The time we spent together
Fun and laughs unfurled

The memories we share of you
Are all we have these days
And they must carry us along
Until again we meet your gaze

Twenty-one years ago today
Our lives were changed forever
I cherish every moment of you
And all the times we were together

On this day which marks your birth
We gather all together
To celebrate the life you lived
You’re in our hearts forever

Happy Heavenly 21st Birthday Chris!
Luv, aunt karen
December 1, 2007


posted Jan 4, 2009, 5:32 PM by Arthur Fudge

The Secret World I Live In

The secret world I live in…
Where others have no clue
Where pain lives on inside me
Where dreams went on with you

The secret world I live in…
Where memories are bittersweet
Where missing you is endless
Where life is incomplete

The secret world I live in…
Where tears now flow with ease
Where questions have no answers
Where I’m treated as diseased

The secret world I live in…
Where others think I’m fine
Where a mask is worn as armor
Where I look for daily signs

The secret world I live in…
Where laughter causes pain
Where happiness eludes me
Where I often feel insane

The secret world I live in…
Where others have no clue
Where pain lives on inside me
Where dreams will not come true…

By Sue Monkhouse
In Memory of her daughter, Danielle


posted Jan 4, 2009, 5:32 PM by Arthur Fudge

Sometimes at night when I close my eyes,
I can see your face and your pretty eyes.
For that moment time stops, and I’m with you once more,
But, it does not last and I feel sad to the core.
When I fall asleep I might dream of you.
Then morning comes and I awake to what’s true.
There might be a song or a breeze or a scent,
That takes me back to the life we had spent.
It is all that I have now to keep you near,
My memories and dreams that I hold so dear.

By Harriet McKaughlin
In Memory of her daughter, Emily

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