Sitting here at work today
Just an hour left to go
Searching for something, don’t know what
It’s elusive as ever though

My heart is sad and aching
Yet I sit here, dry-eyed
As if my body has used up
All the tears I have to cry

The holidays have come and gone
Without you once again
A new year has begun it seems
I still don’t comprehend

I struggle to find focus
To be productive and get work done
But my mind lingers over memories
Of you and I can’t move on

I just want to stay here
In this place of memories
Where you are alive and happy
And everything is as it should be

Some may call it denial
But I call it sanity
For remembering you keeps me alive
And helps me to be free

Free from all these earthly cares
And all the anger and the doubt
None of it matters any more
You’re what its all about

The things I miss the most
Are not things at all, you see
Your laugh, your smile, your bright blue eyes
And watching you grow with glee

I miss watching you
As you figure out your world
The place that it holds for you
The future yours to unfurl

I try to carry on
With love and hope in my heart
I try to live without you here
And make you proud while we’re apart

Some day I will see you again
And what a joyous day that will be
Until then I’ll carry you in my heart
Till I too am set free

With love, aunt karen
January 3, 2005